12-25 Bill's Gift From Santa

By JAY MILLER
Syndicated Columnist

Twas the night before Christmas at the governor's mansion
When Bill began fretting about losing traction.

I'm stuck at just two percent in the polls.
That's not going to get me on many talk shows.

I've traveled to Iowa, New Hampshire and Nevada
But couldn't win any of those states if I hadda.

I've rescued hostages and negotiated for peace
And I've given New Mexicans a nice tax decrease.

I've met with North Koreans about junking their nukes,
When no one else could talk with those kooks.

I'll go to Sudan to bring peace in Darfur,
But what good that'll do me, I'm really not sure.

Americans don't notice when I do such good deeds.
They seem unaware that I also have needs.

What more can I do to attract their attention?
I keep trying so hard but scarcely get mentioned.

Bill finally lay down to sleep in his bed,
As visions of a White House danced in his head.

Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

And there on the crest of the new fallen snow
Was Santa's big sleigh, all ready to go.

I heard you fretting, said Santa. Don't be so glum.
You can borrow my sleigh. I've made my last run.

You know how it travels. Much faster than your jet.
You can fly o'er the country, to everywhere you haven't been, yet.

You can talk to everyone, all over the nation
And won't have to ask loan sharks to make a donation.

It's not all that bad, said the jolly old man.
My sleigh will take you wherever it can.

I hear you hold records for the most handshaking.
Now you can set new ones. They're yours for the taking.

You'll be the first president to go door to door.
You won't have to do chimneys, which I know are a chore.

For a man of your size, who's as big as me.
You can fit in my sleigh, as you can easily see.

Just drop me off as you pass the North Pole.
You'll know where that is by the ozone hole.

So Bill took the reins, to his team gave a whistle
And away they both flew like a Virgin Galactic missile.

But we heard Bill exclaim as they flew out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all. Now I'm doing all right.
MON, 12-25-06

JAY MILLER, 3 La Tusa, Santa Fe, NM 87505
(ph) 982-2723, (fax) 984-0982, (e-mail) insidethecapitol@hotmail.com